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Resources:  Shabbat for Families

More than Israel has kept the Sabbath,
the Sabbath has kept Israel.
—Ahad Ha-am

Only one of all the Jewish holidays is observed every week throughout the year. It is the Sabbath, the day of rest, the "Queen" of all our holidays. Sabbath observance begins each Friday at sunset and ends Saturday night, one hour past sunset (see candle lighting times for Chandler, Arizona). The Sabbath is intended to be a time of peace and rest, a time separate from the weekday's hectic schedule when people can come together to share a special time with their families.

The sages understood this to mean that God created rest (menucha) on the seventh day. Resting on the Sabbath, however, is not merely abstinence from weekday labor. The Shabbat observer actively strives for complete physical and spiritual harmony through such means as prayer and song; festive eating and drinking; sharing love with a mate; study, reflection and exchange of ideas; long walks; and visits to friends.

Shabbat incorporates the most cherished values of Jewish tradition, the core elements in Judaism's message to the world: the sanctity and dignity of individual human life; the covenental relationship between God and Israel; the warmth, closeness and mutual respect of family life; the experience of spiritual joy; and the prospective fulfillment of the "world-to-come" in the Messianic Era.

The mystics regarded the Sabbath as Israel's "bride," whose oncoming as the sun set on the sixth day (Friday) created a tone of welcome and anticipation akin to the joy felt by a bridegroom at the approach of his beloved (Lecha Dodi).

The Sabbath Ceremony

Traditionally, the Sabbath meal has always been the highlight of the week. Even in the worst of times, it was customary for the poor to deny themselves during the week to honor the Sabbath with proper candlelight, wine and food. Shabbat is a time of celebration and joy, and the ritual elements preceding the meal are festive, positive and hopeful and include blessings, songs of welcome and hymns of praise.

The Sabbath Table

The table is set with two Sabbath candles, a kiddush cup for wine and challah, a sweet, braided Sabbath bread. The challah coverlet (a cloth cover over the challah) is said to recall the dew which covered the manna the Israelites gathered while wandering in the Wilderness. Another explanation is that the challah is "sensitive and may be offended by being placed second to the wine."

Ceremonial Sequence

The traditional ceremonial sequence for Shabbat is:

• The candles are kindled and the blessings recited.
• Blessings over the children are recited.
  
• Songs of welcome and hospitality are sung.
• Kiddush is recited to sanctify the wine.
• Hamotzi is recited over the challah and pieces are distributed to all present.
• The Sabbath meal is served.

Kindling the Candles

Jewish people have been lighting candles to welcome the Sabbath since the second century B.C.E. Light is seen as a blessing. The flames give light, God's first creation, and are a symbol of life.

Traditionally, it is the mother who lights and blesses the Sabbath candles. Usually, two candles are lit, although some people light a candle for each child in the family. After lighting the candles, some Jews circle the flames three times with their hands, symbolically bringing Shabbat closer. Then they cover their eyes and recite the blessing.

Blessings Over the Children

Traditionally, it is the father who blesses the children. He embraces the child and recites the blessing.

Songs for Shabbat

Shabbat is a joyous time of celebration, and singing is a wonderful expression of the Shabbat mood. Here are the words to the traditional Shabbat songs, Shalom Aleichem and L'cha Dodi.

Shalom aleichem malachei hashareit,
malachei elyon
Mimelech malchei ham'lachim,
hakadosh baruch hu.

Bo-ahem l'shalom, malachei hashalom,
malchei elyon
Mimelech malchei ham'lachim,
hakadosh baruch hu.

Barchuni l'shalom, malachei hashalom,
malchei elyon
Mimelech malchei ham'lachim,
hakadosh baruch hu.

Tzeitchem l'shalom, malachei hashalom,
malchei elyon
Mimelech malchei ham'lachim,
hakadosh baruch hu.

Peace be unto you, ministering angels,
messengers of the Most High, 
The King of kings, the Holy One,
blessed be He.

May your coming be in peace, messengers of peace,
messengers of the Most High, 
The King of kings, the Holy One,
blessed be He.

Bless me with peace, messengers of peace,
messengers of the Most High, 
The King of kings, the Holy One,
blessed be He.

May your departure be in peace, messengers of peace,
messengers of the Most High, 
The King of kings, the Holy One,
blessed be He.

L'cha dodi likrat kala

P'nei Shabbat n'kabla.

Likrat Shabbat
l'chu v'nelcha
Ki hi m'kor habracha
Sof ma'aseh
b'machshava t'chila.

Hitoreri, hitoreri
Ki va orech kumi ori
Uri uri shir dabeiri
K'vod Hashem alayich nigla.

Bo'i v'shalom ateret ba'la
Gam b'simcha uv-tzohola
Toch emunei ams'gula
Bo'i chala, bo'i chala.

Come, my friend, the Bride to meet,
The holy Shabbat let us greet.

To greet Shabbat now let us go!
Source of blessing, it has ever been so.
Conceived before life on earth began,
Last in God's work, first in His plan.

Arise, arise, for your light has come,
The dawn has broken, the night is gone.
Awake, awake, and joyously sing;
Heavenly glory to you He did bring.

Come now, Shabbat, the day divine,
Come in joy, let your brightness shine.
Come to the people which greets you with pride,
Come in peace, Shabbat bride.

The Kiddush

Kiddush, or "sanctification," is the blessing said over the wine (or grape juice for families with small children). The wine should be made from grapes, the fruit of the vine, which is a double blessing because it is eaten as fruit and can also be pressed into wine. Wine is a symbol of goodness and gladness.

Traditionally, a special large, decorated cup called a "kiddush cup" is used, to be passed around to each person after the blessing. Alternately, some people prefer to use small, individual cups or glasses. In either case, the cup(s) should be brimming as a symbol of overflowing joy and God's bounty. After the blessing, everyone sips the wine.

Challah and the Hamotzi

Challah is a special, traditional bread eaten on Shabbat and other holidays and is another symbol of God's bounty. (See The Ritual of Challah Baking for more on challah.) Some people set out two challah to symbolize the double portion of manna God bestowed on the Israelites each Sabbath.

The challah cover is removed, the challah is raised and the blessing (the Hamotzi) is recited, after which the challah is passed around for each person to take a piece. Customarily, challah is torn rather than cut with a knife, a symbol of war. In fact, some people cover all knives on the table before this blessing. In addition, pieces of the challah are not handed out, but each person tears their own piece (or the challah pieces are passed on a plate), symbolizing that it is God, not man, who gives us our bread.

Shabbat Dinner

See Jewish Cooking for a Shabbat Menu and our special Challah recipe.

Resources

• The Jewish Holidays: A Guide & Commentary by Michael Strassfeld
• The Book of the Jewish Year by Stephen M. Wylen
• The First Jewish Catalog by Richard Siegel et al., editors
• Friday Night and Beyond: The Shabbat Experience Step-By-Step by Lori Palatnik

Books for Children

• Once upon a Shabbos by Jacqueline Jules
• Annie's Shabbat by Sarah Lamstein
• Come, Let Us Welcome Shabbat by Judyth Saypol Groner
• Sammy Spider's First Shabbat by Sylvia A. Rouss
• A Holiday for Noah by Susan Remick Topek
• Shabbat Can Be by Raymond A. Zwerin Marcus
• Because We Love Shabbat: Songs, Stories & Activities for Young Children and Their Families by Leah Abrahms
• Bim and Bom: A Shabbat Tale by Daniel J. Swartz